Need to Know
By Marva Gregorio De Souza
The rain poured. A deluge. Dramatic proportions dodged, avoided by the majority; braved and embraced by the few. Abraham and Tina were among the majority and watched the water’s downward process through the window lining their table on loan from the café owner. It was quiet, the settings within any kind of close proximity to them; empty. This suited Abraham’s plans in particular. He needed to talk to Tina. It was time and the matter was sensitive. Six months of dating was his usual marker. Difficult holding back for longer, the jitters difficult to control and mask. He was not sure what would happen if he allowed himself to endure beyond. He could not risk finding out. Control of all factors where possible was the key to his survival.
Tina, unknown to her, was similar in looks and build to his other girlfriends. His type - desire - need. Abraham readily admitted to himself the connection with Tina was considerably stronger than any he had experienced. He wondered if this would have any bearing on her reaction to his news. Would it be enough for her to make the decision Abraham craved? It was time to find out. Tina shuddered her wet skin in damp clothes then made eye contact with Abraham and smiled deeply warmly. He enjoyed her smile and its ability to touch his heart. A new experience for him, a relish. How he hoped her response would be wonderful. Taking a deep breath and Tina’s hand, Abraham looked deep into her soul and gathered the words in his mind.
“I’m sorry I need to go to the loo.” He ran for the burrow, scattering squawking chickens in his wake.
The mirror questioned him relentlessly. What was he waiting for? Washing his hands, Abraham took some time to collate his answer. He didn’t want it to end. Relationship history had clearly shown what the results of revealing all his dark secrets would be. They were not received well. Once told they could not be ignored. The knowledge and abhorrence of his predicament turned loves into disposable burdens. And he didn’t want to lose Tina as he lost the others. Not Tina. He loved Tina.
How it was possible, he did not know. Up to this point in his life he had been text book perfect, the type of case professors would refer to in their lectures to drive home well established psychological theories. Regardless. He loved Tina. Her demise would devastate him. Her demise by his own hand as close to impossible as anything could be. Tina was not like the others and he, Abraham would not allow her end to be the same. Conscious of the length of time spent away he quickly finished his removal task of the fifth and final trophy and returned to the living oasis seated by the window.
“Are you OK?” Tina tilled a small furrow between her brows. Abraham smoothed it away with his calm response.
“Shall we have another coffee while we’re waiting this… oh where are your earrings?”
“I decided to take them out.”
“You’re so strange sometimes. But I guess that’s one of the things I love about you. And besides I thought they were a little on the feminine side.”
“Do I scare you? Freak you out?”
“Silly, of course not.”
“Good. I’ll try to keep it that way. Same again?” Abraham conversed with the virgin bar tender and came back to Tina bearing gifts. Coffees placed on the table. Bottom placed on the seat. Eyes placed on eyes. Abraham smiled then mentally sighed the sigh of the content determinedly confident to overcome the jitters.
The rain stopped as abruptly as it started.