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True
Life
By
Marva Gregorio De Souza
It
was a pointless exercise. Harvard knew it. Sandra knew it. Calvin
knew it. They continued in the same vein because hope can often be a
hard task master. Gravel; over compliant, moving willingly at the
touch of their hands only to be replaced almost instantly by
comrades.
“Harv,
you should be resting now. “
“I’m
not tired.”
“I
know but if you at least rest your muscles, then you can make a fresh
go at it.”
“But…”
“Come
on Harv, like we agreed. Go and rest!” With that, Calvin turned
his back slightly as an additional marker to the end of the
conversation. Harvard, went to rest, leaving a longing look to make
it clear what he would rather be doing. He found a pile in the
furthest corner from where they were working and surprised his fully
alert thoughts by falling asleep immediately. Sandra and Calvin
continued with the task. Sandra fresh back from her repose. Calvin
still to take one.
They
worked in an atmosphere shared by the scraping of the pebbles and
silence. Both fully aware of the proximity of the other, every move
registered and responded to with hidden emotion generated goose
bumps. Calvin stopped to stretch his limbs and neck. Hard work
taking its fees without remorse. Sandra glanced at him. Tears
escaped the confines of her lashes and made an unclean getaway down
her cheeks, ending on Calvin’s gentle fingers. Harvard’s snores
permitted Calvin to hug her with purpose. Sandra leaned into Calvin
as he returned to his knees but now much closer to her. Sandra
confessed her fears in gasping whispers. Fear of dying. Fear of the
unknown.
“I’m
scared too. It will be alright.”
“How
can it be alright? We know we’re not getting out of here. There
was more gravel than could fill this room. All we’re doing is
shortening our time.”
“Don’t
think like that. Someone might see the extra movement up there and
investigate. You know the gravel’s one of the key measurements.”
“Highly
unlikely though.”
“But
we have to keep trying.”
“Why?
What’s the point?”
“You.
You’re the point. For me anyway. When… if we get out I want to
start my life with you. We come clean. Put things straight and in
order.”
“How?
How can we tell Harv the truth? It will kill him.”
“No
it won’t. Trust me. It will all be alright. It will. I love
you, Sandra. It has to be alright.”
Sandra
returned the love, no longer tentative as at the beginning of their
secret. Now her love for Calvin was as strong as her love for
Harvard. Probably even stronger. She could not imagine doing to
Calvin what she was now doing to Harvard, the pretence, the hiding,
the deception. It was all wrong and at the moment was the only
positive spin she could find for their current predicament. Either
way it would all be over.
*****
With
the gravel waist high the time for resting was far behind them.
They still scooped it through, bringing more and more into the room.
A fine cloud of dust, hung in the room, colored their coats, tickled
their throats, lined their lungs. They suffered in silence to reduce
the dry induced coughing. Sweat, tear streaked faces forlorn. Hope
replaced with desperation, producing the same results. Private
thoughts raced independently in private cells. Calvin longed for
Sandra; for their long desired life together. He thought of when he
first came to the laboratory and how seeing her changed every aspect
of his being. Being alone was no longer an acceptable option. There
was substance outside of work. His prison door now had a key. Once
he learned of Sandra’s connection with Harvard, he tried to divert
his new found feelings. Dating. Unsuccessful but repeated frequently
regardless. Until. Until. Until, dual tension noticed yet unspoken
when in Sandra’s presence. Gentle investigations. Careful
prompting. Disguised declarations. Love shared, gained, distressed
over. From their first kiss they both knew it was just a matter of
timing. Calvin fought for their freedom. Sandra mourned over
Harvard. He had been good to her, a union based on mutual
convenience, a scientific experiment at best. From work situation
shared to proposal to loveless respect devoid of a passion Sandra
thought unimportant until. Until. Until. But Harvard had been
good, and their work key. Too key to throw away on true love, what
could and would be deemed as a whim by Harvard. Harvard who had
saved her from obscurity. Yet the power of Calvin overwhelmed her
and Sandra fought for true life.
Harvard
took a mental step back. He fought for his life’s work. His
purpose. Everything revolved around the laboratory. Nothing existed
outside of it. Harvard fought to remain.
*****
Feet
treading gravel. Arms trapped. Mouths raised and gasping for every
shred of air. The end came to greet them with serious over and under
tones. It was not welcome. Calvin tried to look at Sandra but
peripherals could not pick her out. His voice was all that remained
to reach out.
“I
love you Sandra.”
Sandra’s
heart too sad to leap, pushed it’s remaining tears out. “I love
you too, Calvin.” No care for Harvard or any confusion. It was
their world now. Their precious time. “With all my heart, darling.”
Sandra felt the gravel shift beneath her feet and her body followed
the new path taking her head under, open mouth filled. Choking.
“Sandra!
Sandra! No! SANDRA!” Calvin’s heart broke.
Harvard
tried moving across, being physically closer to Sandra at least. His
efforts rewarded him with her fate.
The
roof opened.
*****
Hands
swooped in. Air. Breathing. Kicking. Safe again. Thorough noted
checks before returned to cages. Back to their original order. Calvin
could only just see Sandra through Harvard’s bars. She lay on the
floor, white fur still gravel dirty, panting. After a short while her
eyes opened and locked with Calvin. Hopeless patience while Calvin
paced, sucked on the water tube sticking through his own bars then
back to his scurried pacing. Harvard now between them, relaxed. A
good day’s work. The big ones were talking into their machines,
words he could not provide a literal translation for but could
vaguely understand the meaning of. Harvard was sure they had noticed
the team work to promote survival. It was a new behaviour. He was
confident.
The
End
